


Regrets

by KatsInSpace



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bryce POV, M/M, spoilers for S1E10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 03:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4903804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsInSpace/pseuds/KatsInSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After seeing Chuck again after all these years, Bryce learns that he still isn't over Stanford. Which is fine, Bryce wouldn't be either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> In Bryce's POV. Not a happy ending. Spoilers for s1e10.

“ _Whoever this Bryce guy is, was a total douche. Chuck had spent years hating this guy.”_

Bryce's heart broke when he heard that. He knew what he was doing back then in Stanford, and it was perfectly logical for him to hate him, but he couldn't have stopped himself. He thought he would have moved on from it, but clearly not. While Chuck hadn't known why he had done it back then, and even now, it still hurts to have known that Chuck still hates him. He seemed fine around Bryce but it was clear that he had gotten better at hiding his feelings.

“Oh?” He replies, forcing himself to now show the pain and hurt he felt. “Sounds like the worst.”

“He is,” Morgan, Chuck's apparent best friend, nods. “ _Was,_ ” he corrects himself. Morgan, it was on his name tag, was one of the green shirt workers that worked at Buy More. He had been “fixing” the shelf, emphasis on fixing since he wasn't really organizing anything. “Dude sent him an e-mail on his birthday, guess he still remembered. But doesn't matter now, he's dead.”

Bryce stopped. ' _His birthday?_ ' In the midst of everything, he had forgotten Chuck's birthday. And he never forgets. He always sat around, staring at the empty spaces and listening to the deafening silence on Chuck's birthday after he had forced him out of his life.

“You sound glad,” he hesitates. H sneaks a glance at Chuck. He was staring at the both of them with the look of horror on his face.

“Chuck could have been running his own company, me by his side,” Morgan says, turning to face him.  
“He basically ruined his life, now he can't make it worse by somehow “stumbling back in.”” He did air quotes when he said those last words. “Small chance but I'm kind of glad he's gone.”

“Morgan!” A woman came by, tugging on his arm to pull him away, her voice fades but It didn't matter, he was lost in his own thoughts.

' _So he still hates me,_ ' he forced back tears, gulping hard as he pretends to look back down at the tv. ' _No chance there, not like there ever was._ ' Bryce sighs. He turns around. His back to where Chuck and Sarah are standing so they couldn't see his facial expressions. He wipes his eyes before crossing his arms, trying to hide the fact that he almost cried in public. ' _Spies don't feel,_ ' he reminds himself. ' _We can't feel._ '

Bryce stood there silently, inwardly trying to contain his feelings.

“No flash, it's the real deal,” Bryce could hear Chuck's voices through the transmitter, but he hardly paid any attention to Sarah's.

Chuck knows to double back and it isn't a surprise to Bryce when he's standing next to him. “Need any help?” He asks, faking their cover.

“Yeah, thanks,” Bryce nods, not looking at him, just staring at the tv.

They stand there in silence for a bit.

“Listen, about what Morgan said,” Chuck brings up, looking over at him.

“Save it Chuck,” he mumbles. He hesitates before looking up at him, feeling his mask start to break. Chuck looked surprised. “You have every right to-”

“I know why you did it,” Chuck cuts in, surprise fading away from his expression.

Bryce's eyes widen a little, mouth parted slightly in shock. He closes his mouth before he answers, “You do?”

“While knowing just makes me have more questions, I do know why you did it, why you-” Chuck hesitated. “Why you had me kicked out of Stanford.”

Bryce is carefully watching his facial expression.

“So,” Chuck drew it out. “Why me? You must've had other people to send it to. Out of everyone you knew, you still chose me. A guy you haven't even seen in years.”

“I already told you, I needed someone I could trust who wasn't a spy.”

“But _me?_ I was just a computer guy, hardly good enough to hold all those secrets.”

“Chuck,” Bryce says firmly, surprising he man. '“Man,” _it's already been that long._ ' “You have all these friends who rely on you, who _trust_ you. People who would put their lives' in your hands. I, _I_ only just have one, and that person wouldn't do any of that. That counts for something.”

Chuck, still shocked, still stares at him. “Just one? Why not choose him?”

' _I did,_ ' Bryce stares at him with a hard expression, gulping down. ' _You were the only one who brought out my true self._ ' He shakes his head before raising his hand up a few seconds later for a handshake.

Chuck stares down at his hand.

“I never deserved it,” Chuck looks up at him, raising an eyebrow at Bryce's words. “I never deserved any of the things you did for me, thank you. Thank you for it all.”

Chuck hesitated. Chuck reaches for his hand hand grips it tight. “What happens now, Bryce?” You just disappear all over again?”

Bryce could swear that he could see hurt in his expression but that could just be hopeful wishes.

Bryce nods. “I have to.”

Chuck sighs, letting go of Bryce's hand. He looks away and toward the ground. He tried to hide his pain and hurt but it didn't work.

“I have to take him,” Sarah speaks up once she's standing next to them. Her hand is on Chuck's upper arm in an attempt at comfort. Bryce can't help himself when he glares over at her hand. When he catches himself he just turns away.

-.-Chuck and Bryce-.-Chuck and Bryce-.-

As it turns out, the two agents who had taken Bryce end up being attacked by Tommy's guys. But he and Sarah end up being able to handle it before racing back to the Buy More. They both believed that Tommy was there, and in turn, everyone there in danger.

Especially Chuck,

After all that he had done for him, besides the whole intersect part, he couldn't allow him to be harmed. It's the whole reason why he didn't want Chuck in the CIA, even if it took their friendship away as a result. It was worth it. But now he had to do it again, ensure that Chuck survives.

So when he and Sarah are standing in front of Chuck being held hostage by Tommy, he felt panic throughout his system. Bryce could almost feel himself break his cover. They both had their guns in their firm grip, pointed at Tommy while Tommy had one pointed at Chuck.

Bryce spoke. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,” Chuck says to him. Panic fills his face and he turns his head slightly. “Not you,” he says to Tommy before looking back at Bryce and Sarah.

“Khi-Ja?” Bryce hadn't uttered those words in years, other than meeting Chuck for the first time in years. In fact, he barely thought about his life before Stanford, other than Chuck of course, he was too busy being a spy for the CIA that he didn't have time to live.

Chuck furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly. It was clear that he was still trying to figure out what he said.

“Khi-Ja? Gho-Be?”

“Khi-Ja,” Chuck finally answers, his eyes not leaving Bryce's.

“Sorry Chuck,” he moved his hand and shot Chuck in the chest. Bryce hadn't said anything about being shot in the chest which was covered by a vest, he thought he didn't need to. But it _hurt._ It's as smiple as that.

He hears the shot ring out and Tommy drops him out of surprise. Casey steps in and knocks him out with the butt of his gun.

Sarah rushes over to him, the look of worry and care, maybe even love, in her eyes. She kneels next to him as Casey stands over them. The look on their faces were filled with horror and shock.

“What did you say to him?” Sarah hisses.

“Ask him,” Bryce replies, no worry at all. He knows Chuck is safe. Hurt, but safe.

A bit after, Chuck is coughing violently from the knock-back, Sarah holding him. “Khi-Ja,” he repeats, shock on his face. “Khi-Ja, yes. Yes I am wearing a vest.” Chuck looks over at Bryce from Sarah.

Bryce can't help himself but smile. He lets out a soft chuckle. ' _He still hasn't forgotten._ ' It was their own language, just for the two of them. He had been a bit rusty awhile ago, but hearing him now? It's something that he could still hang onto, something that reminds him of what they had, something that could have been.

“That stings a bit,” Chuck coughs again.

Sarah stands and hold out her hand. Chuck takes it and Bryce could see the look Chuck wears when their hands join and eyes meet once he's standing. Bryce's heart pangs when he reminds himself that he can't have this. That he gave this up years ago, when he pushed Chuck away for his own safety.

Bryce, forcing back is emotions, walks over to him to help him out of the vest. This would be the closest he would ever get to him.

He strips off the first pad, where the Bullet had hit. Sarah strips off the other side. It takes awhile to remove it, and all the while, Chuck is talking. He's hardly paying attention. Why?

“You feeling better?” Sarah asks him in a gentle tone. She's rubbing and patting his back, trying to comfort him.

Chuck nodded slightly, still a little breathless. “Ye-uh yeah, I am, better that is.”

Bryce wants to go up to him. Wants to just talk to him again. But he sees one of the agents waving him over from the back room, so he has no choice but to go. He hesitates though when he's walking to the entertainment room. He stops to look back at Chuck who was with both Casey and Sarah now. Bryce sighs before looking back and walking to the back room.

-.-Chuck and Bryce-.-Chuck and Bryce-.-

After being told of his next mission by the general, he walks out of the room, seeing Chuck, Sarah, and Casey standing in a line, as if they were waiting for him. Chuck was watching him carefully, an unsure expression on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, worry and curiosity in his eyes as his lips were slightly parted.

Bryce approaches them, standing directly in front of Chuck. “I was just assigned a new mission by the general,” he speaks softly, eyes focused on Chuck's as they stared back.

“As a matre'd?” Chuck joked half-heartedly. He attempted to make the tension in the air lessen but it was clear that he looked very pained as he said it.

Bryce shook his head slightly. “It's an undercover op,” he explains. “Meaning Bryce Larkin is officially dead, and he's going to stay that way.”

“Where is it?” Chuck hesitated.

Bryce parted his lips. He wanted to tell Chuck. He wanted to tell him everything, but he couldn't. “I'm sorry,” it hurt Bryce to say these words. ' _No matter how much I want to tell you,_ ' Bryce starts. “Not even you could know.” Bryce looked down at the ground for a moment before raising his hand again. He looks back up, seeing the hesitant look on Chuck's face.

Chuck reaches for his hand again. “It was nice seeing you again,” he mutters. “Even with the whole holding me hostage thing.”

They grip each other's hands tightly. When Chuck's hand goes slack, Bryce lingers his before actually letting go. “Good bye Chuck,” his gaze stays longer than necessary before he looks at Sarah. “Good bye Sarah,” now Casey. “Casey.”

He hesitates before finally moving his feet. Bryce wants to stay. He wants to make it up to Chuck. It didn't matter that he said he forgave Bryce. He just didn't forgive himself for doing what he did. No matter what he did, it just wouldn't sit right with him. Never mind that it was to keep him out of the spy life, he still brought him in with the intersect.

When Bryce is near the door, he hears his name. “Bryce! Bryce wait.” He stops when he hears Chuck's voice. He turns to face him, trying to hide his shock. He didn't expect Chuck to come after him.

“Chuck?” Bryce asks once he's standing in front of him. Sarah and Casey were still standing in the same spot they had been at when Bryce greeted them good bye. Though they were staring at them.

“I uh,” Chuck hesitates. “I was wondering something,” when Bryce said nothing, he continued. “Is it um, is it necessary for you to be “dead” dead?” Chuck was looking at Bryce with a hopeful expression.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, can you still-do you have to,” Chuck takes a short pause. “Do you have to cut off all contact with everyone? Can we still talk?”

Bryce shakes his head instantly regrets it when he sees the disappointment on Chuck's face.

“Oh,” his voice was dripping with sadness. Chuck swallows down his nerves as he attempts to give a care-free smile, though it's obviously pained. “I guess this _is_ a final good bye.” Chuck sighs heavily.

They both stand there in silence for a bit. Bryce lingers in hope that Chuck would say more. It had passed almost two minutes when nothing was said.

Bryce looks toward the door for awhile before he turns his body a bit, taking a step toward the door.

“Bryce, wait,” Chuck calls out again before Bryce has the chance to continue.

Bryce stops himself and looks back at Chuck again. He parts his lips to speak but is caught of guard when Chuck suddenly lunges toward him. At first, Bryce expects the worst but is reminded that he should have expected the best. It had taken Bryce awhile to register what had happened. And what happened was that Chuck had brought his arms around Bryce in a tight embrace, clutching tightly at the back of his jacket and at his nape.

Bryce's hand twitch. He wants to return the hug, he really does. He decides to throw out all the consequences out the door and return the hug. He rests his head against Chuck's shoulder.

“Good bye Bryce,” Chuck says reluctantly. “Even after all you did, I'll miss you.”

Bryce says nothing at first. It takes him awhile to force back his emotions so his voice wouldn't quiver when he replied “me too” in a soft voice.

Chuck's hand give a final squeeze before he lets go. Bryce too, though he doesn't want to.

“Before you go,” Chuck says nervously.

Bryce raises an eyebrows at him.

Chuck takes his wrist, leading them out the door. He stops them to the side of the glass walls, where Casey and Sarah wouldn't be able to see.

Bryce wants to asks what Chuck is doing but stops himself when he feels two, slightly sweaty hands on his face. Chuck is leaning toward him, eyes closed, lips parted. Bryce licks his lips nervously as his heart jumps. He willingly tilts his head for Chuck, resting his own hands at the small of Chuck's back. Bryce feels Chuck's slightly chapped lips press against his.

There's no tongue. It isn't intense. There's no force.

It's nothing but gentle yet filled with so much loving emotion.

 

And at the same time, it's a parting kiss.  

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is Hernando-Hale if you wanted to drop by.  
> Criticism welcome.


End file.
